Perspectives: Lisa Talbot

When Lisa Talbot was a little girl she thought that her dad was a very hard-working man. She understood that he had to miss birthday parties and her gymnastics routines. She even understood when he didn’t show up for a third grade field trip that he was supposed to chaperone. Of course she was disappointed, but she understood.

It wasn’t until, Lisa was much older that she realized that her father wasn’t working, but instead gambling. Her first memory of his gambling was, “more of an image than a memory,” she said. “He had an office – an impressive room in our house that he had set up to review race books and plan betting strategies.” Thinking back Lisa remembers a strange incident where their family car got broken into. She later learned that it had something to do with a bookie trying to collect payment from her father.

When she was about eight years old, Lisa recalls going to the track with her father and having a great time. “I felt proud to be there with him. He liked it there and I wanted to be wherever he was.” Lisa’s desire for her father’s attention was an ongoing quest. She subconsciously tried to gain his approval by being perfect. She was an exceptionally good kid. She did well in school, had a lot of friends and was very into gymnastics. Lisa wanted her father to be as proud of her as she was of him.

Amid the gambling problem, Lisa remained sheltered. It wasn’t until her mother announced,” Your father and I are splitting up. I can’t tell you why and don’t think I’ll ever be able to give you an answer” that Lisa was shocked into reality. She blamed her mother for the breakup. Finally, Lisa did not understand. Lisa’s parents split up and her relationship with her father became very disconnected.

Years later, Lisa was in college, living her own life. Still a high achiever, she excelled in school and continued to push herself toward perfection. She was living in California, running marathons and participating in a doctoral program in psychology. Lisa eventually pushed herself into an eating disorder – ironically, a behavioral addiction very much characteristic of her father’s gambling addiction.

When Lisa’s disorder made her so sick that she needed highly intensive medical and psychological intervention her father was there. He was determined to help her and he reached out to her time and again, refusing to give up on her. At first Lisa rejected her father’s help but soon she realized that he understood her better than anyone else could and she let him back in her life. “He’s been so helpful to me in a million ways,” said Lisa.

Since her recovery in 1997, Lisa and her father have been remarkably close. They both enjoy running and have traveled to different parts of the country together to participate in road races and cheer each other on. In addition, the two meet for coffee every morning. “It is wonderful to have a daily relationship with my father. Even in the most professionally chaotic times, we take the time for each other. Of course, I love my dad, but I really just “like” him too.”

Addictions have shaped much of Lisa’s and her father’s lives, but there is a silver lining to that cloud. Both of them have used their experiences to help others with addictions. Lisa finished her academic coursework and is currently the Vice President of a Massachusetts addictions treatment company. Her father is the founder of a not for profit Gamblers Assistance Program in the southeastern part of the state.

“I want to thank the Massachusetts Council on Compulsive Gambling for addressing, the devious, pervasive issue of behavioral addiction,” she said. “It’s not an easy issue to explain to people, but I know first hand that your work is extremely important.”